Four Signs that it Might be Time to End a Friendship

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Note: This photo is from the 8th grade, I’m using it stock image style. Don’t take it personally if your feet are in it!

This time of year everyone starts saying things like “new year, new me”. I’m not one of those people. I like setting goals for a new year, but trying to overhaul your life starting at midnight is never the way to go. With that being said, the new year does make you look at your life in a different light. You start to go over all the things that happened in the past year, including everything that happened between you and your friends.

A friendship is like any other relationship, it has ups and downs and we have to take it for what it is. But sometimes they are unbalanced, and the mass amounts of downs start weighing on you. We make excuses for these people and sometimes they deserve them and sometimes they don’t. Let’s talk about when they don’t. Let’s talk about the signs that you maybe should leave a friendship behind in 2016.

  • Reality TV: I’m calling this one the reality TV effect. Very few people like being involved in drama, but a lot of us like hearing about it when it has nothing to do with our lives. When you find yourself wanting to go to lunch with someone just to catch up on their drama filled life, you might as well be watching reality TV. The friendship stops being a relationship and starts being something to catch up on. Your relationships should have more to offer than Keeping Up with the Kardashians.
  • Rant Count: I’ve decided it’s human nature to rant a little. I tend to do it internally, in a journal, or to my mother so it doesn’t create drama or conflict, but everyone rants about people occasionally. Even my very best friends have done something at some point to make me grumble. But there are a few people whose actions are always starting up internal rants. One day I decided to start counting them, because I noticed there was an overload of them. I quickly realized that this isn’t a healthy relationship if it makes me so angry.
  • Moral Conflicts: I’m a firm believer that you don’t have to agree with your friends on everything, in fact, I think you shouldn’t. Questioning each other and discussing different views is healthy and pushes you to think outside the box. But there is a difference between having different views and continuously wanting to cringe when you hear about something they did.Their everyday actions shouldn’t make you morally uncomfortable.
  • All Talk: You know that person who tells you how much they miss you but never tries to see you? People get busy (or sick) and plans fall through, but sometimes it goes past that. There is no texting, there is no catching up, they are so behind on your life and you on theirs, but somehow you two are still claiming to be close friends. It’s normal to have a friends that you aren’t super close with and you only see every now and then. But when you two are claiming to be close while not making any effort to actually be close… well, that’s not normal. People shouldn’t talk about how much they miss you and love you if there are absolutely no actions to back that up.

Let’s start 2017 with people who can help us have a good year. There is no time like the present!

9 thoughts on “Four Signs that it Might be Time to End a Friendship

      • Sadly unhealthy relationships always keep coming around. You have to evaluate the people in your life every so often. I’m sorry you didn’t start the new year the right way, but I wish you luck! I’ve found that if I question if a friendship is healthy more than two or three times it’s normally time to pull back, even if you keep the friendship just don’t stay as close

        Liked by 1 person

      • It’s a complicated situation, and I probably don’t need to get into it now, since you don’t write this blog for strangers to share their drama with you. But finding a way to pull back without cutting people out entirely might be the best approach, since the friendships I’ve been questioning lately are part of a circle of friends that also includes people who I know I want to keep in my life. But in one case, it’s hard to do that, because this individual hurt me in a way that for me usually only heals with time and distance. (We talked extensively about what happened several months ago, and this individual has apologized, just to be clear. It involved bad decisions and bad communication rather than any actual malicious actions.)

        Liked by 1 person

      • It’s always harder with groups of friends. I have been through the same thing before. I still see them, just not as often, and we don’t keep up with each other too much personally. Physical distance might be a little harder to find but emotionally distancing yourself is possible, it’s just a much more inward thing and not as easy to achieve. I wish you luck though, hopefully you will be able to get the healing you need! Everyone deserves to feel like their relationships are worth while.

        Liked by 1 person

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