I’ve been thinking a lot about judgmentalness.
Those who know me well know that at times I can be fairly judgemental, those that don’t know me as well normally wouldn’t guess it, because I try my hardest not to let it affect how I treat people. But, when I’ve judged people negatively I tend to avoid them and that’s what lead me to realize this was a problem.
When am in a situation where I must spend time with those I’ve already negatively judged, I normally end up liking them despite the few things that made me pull away in the first place. I might not end up being their best friend, but I always enjoy seeing them, I always want to catch up.
It’s because a lot of the things I judge people on are frivolous, because when we first meet people those are the things we can see. It’s not how they dress, it’s how they present themselves, it’s their persona. Some persona’s I’ve firmly decided I can’t stand, but when someone with that persona makes it through and I end up liking them, I have to realize that my judgements are often flawed.
As I’m writing this I feel like I’m putting a giant arrow over myself that says “Anna is a judgmental jerk” and it concerns me, because I’m not a jerk and I don’t think I’m insanely judgmental either. I’m just more judgmental than I should be. I think we all can be at times. Whether I’m more or less than most people I really don’t know, because it’s only the insanely judgmental people that confess how judgmental they really are.
I once had a close friend tell me that their first impression of me was rotten, it was terrible, but yet here we are being very good friends. I forced them into giving me a chance, but now I need to force myself into giving everyone their fair chance. I might not like them, there is a good chance of that, but I also might end up really enjoying them, and often I make that call far too soon.