It goes for people and events, if you look for the bad in something you will always find it. If you go in with a negative mindset you will find something negative, it’s a simple game of find and seek. Sometimes those bad things are big, sometimes they make us feel justified for our negative views, but the problem is, when we find multiple small negatives, we still find our mindset justified. We still think we’ve done the right thing by raining all over the parade because we found something wrong with it.
Nice going being right, I guess.
The problem is small negatives don’t make a bad person or a bad event, they don’t even make a bad group. Small negatives are everywhere, and not just in the things we hate. All your favorite people, events, and groups also have small negatives. You’re just not looking for them in them, you’re looking at them with a positive eyes, which leads to the second point, which is if you look for the good in something you will find it.
It’s the exact same as the reverse. The half full and half empty debate is raging on, but it’s too generic of a saying, it implies that you’re either always an optimist or always a pessimist. Nothing could be farther from the truth. We find good in the things we want to find good in and we find bad in the things we want to find bad in.
Your worldview is shaped by how you approach things. It’s made by your mindset and you, like every other human, have biases. They’re different biases from everyone else. They are shaped by every part of your life coming together. Of course you listen to them, you are only human. But that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t question them from time to time. It doesn’t mean that you wouldn’t be happier looking for positives in something you deem a negative. It doesn’t mean you can’t acknowledge something not so great that your positive person, group, or event did.
It’s called self correcting, but perhaps it should be called self balancing.
Everything will always be made up of good and bad things. It’s how the world works, but how you approach those things takes a lot of self awareness. Notice when you’re only looking for the bad and notice when you are only looking for the bad and balance out your view. It doesn’t mean not to enjoy the good things in life, it only means maybe you understand why your best friend can hate something you love. It also doesn’t mean accepting and loving the things that are bad in the world, it’s more of understanding how things got to that point and how a good person could fall like that.
Again, it’s about balancing, both yourself and your views.