Out of everyone I know only two people have had a good 2020, and honestly good for them, someone should have enjoyed it. The pandemic is the heart of the bad year, but lets be honest, everyone has a different list of hardships from this year. Whether it be isolation, job loss, sickness, or other terrible things, its been a year- and not one that you’re going to commemorate with a 2020 Christmas tree ornament.
And while I spent the spring and summer struggling with our series of unfortunate events, I’ve spent this fall and winter on something else, all the blessings I have despite all the bad.
It’s easy to get carried away with the mess when one thing goes wrong after another. It’s easy to let the darkness consume you, and many bad years, I’ve let it. I’ve let the darkness win. I’ve let myself sink into depression- whether warrantied or not. And honestly no one would blame you if 2020 has left you that way. We’re in a pandemic with COVID but also with depression. We have sky high suicide rates right now. It’s been a very easy year to get lost in the darkness. If you have, you aren’t alone.
But, the message that I have is that there are still things going on to be happy about. There are still things to find joy in. The reason you can see all the shadows is because their is some form of light that is casting them.
I’ve been staring at that light source the last month or two- and the longer I’ve looked at the stronger it’s gotten. Gratitude grows gratitude, because when you’re focusing on the good you start noticing it in places you would of overlooked it.
This year has strengthened my gratitude muscle. I needed to excise it or lose myself, so I worked it out. I still have stress and sadness and what not, but it’s easier to distract myself from it when I know how much I have to be thankful for as well.
I feel like in the easy years we coast by, happy to be happy, noticing the big joys but not really focusing on all the tiny little pieces that make up our life. In the bad years you are forced to either focus on the bad, or seek out those tiny pieces that can still make us happy.
I’m thankful I managed to turn my eyes towards the good these last few months, and sorry that I wasted the spring and summer on the bad.
Hopefully this is a lesson that will transfer to the next bad year, because just like a good year will come, another bad one will as well, and I’d like my gratitude muscle to still be strong enough to handle it.