The old saying is true, misery loves company, people who are miserable tend to complain and pull people down with them. They don’t want to be alone in their darkness or unhappiness and they can never understand why you aren’t as upset, outraged, or as troubled by something as they are.
We pull others down when we’re sad often without realizing it, most of the time it isn’t malicious. That’s not to say it never is, some low souls live like that on a daily bases and will suck the life out of us, but for most of us doing it, we’re simply looking to commiserate with someone.
The saying is often used, but what isn’t talk about enough is that joy and happiness also love company, and that joyous people tend to life others up.
None of us can be happy all of the time, there is no magic pill, there also is no happy go lucky friend you can make that will keep pulling you towards joy while others try to pull you down. But that doesn’t mean you can’t cultivate relationships in a way that will lift you up instead of burry you alive.
Having multiple friends in multiple walks of life is honestly one of the best ways to do this. When they are down they are often going through different problems from one another so you don’t find yourself feeling negative about one aspect of life all the time. Their joy also tends to come from different sources, so you are exposed to multiple places to pull joy from.
There is also a lot to say about content people and friendships with them, I think the goal in life is to be content, happiness is too fleeting, hopefully we have pockets of it throughout every day and sometimes get to bask in it for long periods, but dealing with trails in a manner where we know we are just partaking in life’s challenges without always taking it personally is ideal. People who’ve reached this stage are ideal friends, but most the time simply finding people trying to reach this stage is more than enough.
You can’t have higher standards for your friends than they have for you.
The trick isn’t to hide from our sad or miserable friends, they need us, and we should offer our love, but creating pathways to allow yourself to be pulled not only down but also up is important. We can’t live as pessimists all the time, the existence as one is lonely and hard to bare. Optimism all the time is often forced and hallow.
But finding people who will feed you joy as often, if not more, than they will want to commiserate with you can help you lead a healthier, more mentally sound, life.