Identity in Motherhood:

I often see mothers talk about losing themselves in motherhood. They say that motherhood has become their entire identity and they no longer have a self outside of it. It’s a big thing, and easy to understand seeing how motherhood is so consuming. I mean that in a good way, but it can have it’s moments were overwhelming doesn’t begin to cover it. Our children are the best things that have happened to us, we cherish them, adore them, but they are a lot of work.

A big thing is finding time for oneself, which depending on your support system may or may not be possible, a lot of mothers find themselves dropping hobbies like crazy simply because they don’t have the time. They feel like they’ve lost a part of themselves. I can understand this, I haven’t written on a novel in eight months (that’s how old my son is). I think a key thing to remember is that those things are still a part of us even if we are not active in our creating or playing or doing. Just because we don’t have the time doesn’t mean we don’t have the love or the passion.

Of course the goal is to find time, but sometimes that it easier said than done. Trying to fit hobbies into calm moments can be hard when you also need to do eight loads of laundry, vacuum the house, and file taxes… oh they woke up early? Well you had 15 minutes.

Creating a support system or paying for a sitter is the best way to find time for yourself but mom’s have found other solutions like waking up earlier than their children or instead of tuning into the TV after they go to sleep working on the things that used to make you you.

I say used to, not because they still don’t but because we’re more now. We’re mothers an it’s okay if it takes over. When our children hit middle school we’ll be wondering why they don’t need us as much. If a few of my hobbies get reanimated then, that’s okay. I’m going to do everything I can to fit my important ones into my life now and worry about the fringe ones later.

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