On social media and stalking people from our past:

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I have a friend that checks her ex-boyfriend’s social media feeds semi-regularly. I check an ex-friend’s feed even more often.

We’re in a digital world, most of our generation shares their lives on social media, it’s easy to cyber stalk. It’s easy to learn details that you wouldn’t ever learn in person. It’s easy to dismiss your need to hash up the past on ‘oh I just thought about them and I was curious.’ But did you check their feed because you were curious or were you curious because you check their feed so often?

The longer you linger on a topic the more likely it is to circle back around later. The more frequently you indulge in a curiosity, the more likely you are to do it again. Somebody doesn’t have to be standing on the other side of the door to make their way in when you open it. Whether you are talking to these people or not, whether they are thinking of you or not, you’re asking them to come live in your head rent free.

It’s not good for you, not only because it makes you linger in the past, or in your anger, or in your broken heart, but also because you’re now in a relationship for one. No one-sided relationship is healthy simply because relationships are never meant to be one sided. It’s not a new phenomenon, people have lingered on those they shouldn’t for years, but social media is making it easier, and it’s giving us a front row seat to someones life we aren’t supposed to be a part of any longer.

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How to Beat Social Media

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Did you know social media is linked to depression? Well, it is. The principle behind it is that you see other people doing awesome things and you compare that to you not doing awesome things. I think we’ve all been victims of that. I think we’ve also all been known to try to portray our life as a more interesting one than it is on social media.

Which is fine, I mean, I only want to remember the good stuff three years from now scrolling through my instagram. The real solution isn’t to post everything online, but to remember that nobody does. We’re missing all the ugly cries and silly fights from that one blogger who seems to have everything together.

But I’m telling you things you already know. We’ve been lectured not to compare our lives to others for as long as we’ve been alive. That’s all fine and well, but it doesn’t stop us from doing it. Which is why I’m going on to post these solutions for fighting back against social media’s bad side effects:

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On the Insta:

Untitled-5Here are some of my favorite Instagram’s I’ve posted in the two weeks I’ve been out for the summer. It includes Magnolias, sunsets, trail rides, and a nest we found empty in our front yard!

I would love if you guys kept up with me across social media, and I check out all the people who follow me!

Instagram: anna_katherine_o  //  Facebook page: Anna Down South   //   Tumblr: annadownsouth  //    Twitter: AnnaKatherineO

Record Keeping, Technology Gathering: How to spend time in the moment while living with technology.

IMG_8581Like everything, there is a balance to be found between taking pictures and living, or really any type of recording a living. You see the photos and videos saying “put down your phones” and rightly they should. We live in a culture dominated by apps and talking with each other but not really talking to each other. It’s not gone though, plenty of people who run social media live beautiful lives with adventure and exploration. But the question always is how much of it should you record? Is the time spent snapping photos taking away from your very enjoyment of just being in the moment. Here’s some ways I’ve learned to balance them:

  • Take pictures now. Post pictures later. You’re on the top of a mountain with a sunset that could kill, you want to share it, you want to talk about it, but you’re there now, with someone standing beside you. Take a few pictures, put your phone or camera away and just watch. Be in the moment live in the moment, while still having it recorded. Don’t spend your time glancing down at a screen to see if the pictures loaded to instagram yet. That is a waste of time. Do that while you’re getting ready for bed and don’t have something more important to be doing.
  • Delete the games. People fight me on this one, they like their phone games. The entire world gets crazed with them. I don’t even know what’s popular now, I know angry birds has passed, candy crush? I wouldn’t know because I don’t have them on my phone. If I need to pass time while in a waiting room I’m reading a book or talking up the person next to me (and I’m not perfect, sometime the social media scanning comes out too)
  • Don’t friend gather. Don’t follow people to get follow backs, don’t friend people on facebook just to have a big number of friends. I know facebook is fading now in popularity but I remember in high school people would proudly say how many friends they had, now it’s folllowers on tumblr and what not. It’s silly to gather friends just to gather them. On facebook it means a lot more scrolling, as it does with most other social media, and for what? To look at things that don’t even interest you? It’s not worth the time wasted.
  • Call people every now and than. I know, everyone hates getting phone calls when they are in the middle of something, but even if it starts with a “hey can I call you?” text, talking to people on the phone is 100000% more personal for everyone involved, not to mention you can say things in a fraction of the time it would take to text it back and forth.