Do something daily to make you hate yourself less.

March 14, 2022Leave a comment

The title is my main point, do something daily to make you hate yourself less, it’s pretty straight forward, but I’ve got more to say about it.

I’ve been going through a weird time. I think maybe all of us have. Prices are rising. War is threatened. Everything on the news seems to be labeled unprecedented. It’s a mess and things are messy. Even if you have a bundle of joy that keeps your spirits up its hard not to feel a little down.

I don’t hate myself, but I certainly hate things about me, and those bad habits have all proven to be hard to rid myself of. I have tried dozens of tactics to get rid of them and I’ve shed a few, but the rest hold strong. I haven’t been able to get through to myself on all fronts, but lately I’ve been doing better by simply by telling myself to do something daily that makes me hate myself less. It feels like a childish tactic, but it’s working. Perhaps because it only asks for one thing at a time, perhaps because I’m generally a happy and positive person who really does want to get rid of the ill will I have towards myself.

Regardless of why, this little moto has taken root in my mind and I am glad. Whenever I’m about to misstep it echoes in my mind. It’s also pushed me towards good habits and self-care that I would have otherwise neglected.

Maybe it can help you as well.

On disordered eating:

December 15, 2021Leave a comment

I don’t have an eating disorder, my bad eating habits haven’t ever reached that level, but I have balanced dangerously on that line.

In our current culture it’s almost normal to have disordered eating habits. Our diet culture and super processed food has made it a hard thing to avoid, especially as a young woman. Hell, when I was on Tumblr in high school there were thousand of thinspo accounts, now they just mask themselves on instagram as health accounts that focus far to much on the goal body shape than the health.

Our dieting world has shifted so much that we coined a new eating disorder based on super restrictive diets that are in the fad now. If I hear one more world about keto or the whole 30 I might scream.

Continue reading →

Start your resolutions now:

December 2, 2021Leave a comment

Hello December, its nice to see you again!

In the middle of all the holiday cheer you might find the idea of starting your resolutions now unsavory. Cutting down sweets during Christmas? Well why not, you don’t have to get rid of them, just practice a little more self control than you would if you were starting next month.

We like to hang on the idea of starting tomorrow or starting Monday. We misbehave more with bad habits when we know we want to start a good one “soon”. We also are more likely to push them off another day or another week, so starting now can really cut these factors off at the knee.

Also starting now means you’ll be a month ahead of were you would be if you started next month. You can have already started that new hobby or cleaning out that house or being kinder to yourself. Put yourself ahead of the curve, beat the rush at the gym, find a therapist before everyone else starts looking.

Another thing about starting early is you can give yourself permission to start slower. You can do a trial run, start slow, give yourself permission to make more mistakes, than really buckle down with the new year. It’ll go better than starting cold!

So make that resolution list and start early!

The single bad habit slippery slope:

November 12, 2021Leave a comment

We all have a list of bad habits that is longer than we would like, and honestly, if you say you don’t I not only don’t believe you but I think you might need to check your pride.

I currently have a daily check list on my phone of habits- it has good daily habits that I’d like to pick up and a series of bad habits to cross off when I don’t do them. It’s been the only system I’ve found that helps, though of course it isn’t a magic solution and I still fall short of checking all my boxes a lot of time.

There are arguments about how many habits you should try to pick up and drop at the same time, and this post isn’t really about that. I don’t have an answer to how much you can personally take on at a time, I think a lot of it has to do with how linked your habits are. What this post is about is doing one bad habit can lead to a day of all your bad habits coming out.

I think a lot of us have an all or nothing mindset, in some ways that might be a good thing, if you’re checking off good habits to do today it certainly is! But it also applies to your bad habits, and once we’ve fallen short we tend to think the day is lost and spiral.

Continue reading →

Picking back up the good habits we dropped during COVID-19:

July 14, 2021Leave a comment

It’s been a hard year and a half for goals! It’s been a hard year and half for everything really, but, you get my point. We’ve been told to cut ourselves slack, which is true, we needed it. We needed a break during the madness so we could properly take care of ourselves during the trying times, but it’s time to break back into the real world and start getting stuff done again.

I use an app that allows me to create daily to do lists, I even paid the extra ten dollars for a lifetime of being able to set reoccurring ones have a few other features. The app is really not that important, but the fact that I’m faced with eight bullet points under the title “habits” is. They are in my face daily. This is just one of the things I’ve tried to do to force myself into good behavior. I’ve also gotten a little help with my diet/active lifestyle by the mere fact that I’m pregnant and know I’m not just doing this for myself anymore. I have to be on top of it. Other than that? A lot of prayer and reflection trying to figure out why I struggle getting certain things going. A few motivational books. And a whole lot of trying to remind myself that I have willpower.

Willpower is a funny thing, I’ve talked about the fact that you have to exercise it to make it stronger before, but it’s also strange how when we tone it down (even for survival mode) it’s very hard to start back up. You read motivational quotes about how you can’t wait for motivation you just have to act on things, and they are right, but it’s much easier said than done. Some things really are a struggle, it brings us back to the truth that we find everywhere from the Bible to psychology text books, we do things we know are bad for us (or don’t do things that are good for us) even though we know we shouldn’t (or should). It sometimes seems like our natural response. Sometimes, I’m pretty sure it is our natural response.

Continue reading →

Make small changes, take big steps.

October 6, 2020Leave a comment

Do you know that people with dogs tend to be healthier than people without? Simply because most people walk their dogs, and that additional exercise a day boosts their physical health.

It makes you realize how big those little changes are. That twenty minute walk a day can change your health. So can changing one meal a day. You can change your mental health by spending more time in the sun or simply seeing a friend once a week. By setting a timer and cleaning for only 30 minutes a day, you can change the constant state of your house.

Continue reading →

Practicing your habits and creating pathways.

August 18, 2020August 18, 2020Leave a comment

I’ve been working the last three weeks on minimizing my screen time. I’m not doing great at it if I’m being honest, I’m still on social media a lot. I work online and I spend a chunk of my down time online. I like feeling informed and I work in marketing, of course I like consuming media!

But in this process, though I haven’t gotten rid of a ton of screen time, I have been spending more time on my hobbies. I’ve been seeing the horse more for longer stretches of time. I might get online afterwards, but the extra farm time counts for something when it comes to my goals and it counts as a lot when it comes to my mental health.

Even slight improvements turn into bigger strides. I’ve read a number of books on forming habits, and I can’t remember which one it came from, but a book introduced me to a new way of thinking about habits. You have to practice them like you do your skills. Even small steps are setting up links in your brain, creating pathways so next time you take another step you can build out even more. Practicing your habits. It’s not that novel of a concept, but as someone who always thought about habits as complete reforms it gave me an insight to how I could realistically improve.

Small steps, always moving forward. I can do that.

Continue reading →