Misery loves company, but so does Joy. Cultivate those relationships.

The old saying is true, misery loves company, people who are miserable tend to complain and pull people down with them. They don’t want to be alone in their darkness or unhappiness and they can never understand why you aren’t as upset, outraged, or as troubled by something as they are.

We pull others down when we’re sad often without realizing it, most of the time it isn’t malicious. That’s not to say it never is, some low souls live like that on a daily bases and will suck the life out of us, but for most of us doing it, we’re simply looking to commiserate with someone.

The saying is often used, but what isn’t talk about enough is that joy and happiness also love company, and that joyous people tend to life others up.

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Do something daily to make you hate yourself less.

The title is my main point, do something daily to make you hate yourself less, it’s pretty straight forward, but I’ve got more to say about it.

I’ve been going through a weird time. I think maybe all of us have. Prices are rising. War is threatened. Everything on the news seems to be labeled unprecedented. It’s a mess and things are messy. Even if you have a bundle of joy that keeps your spirits up its hard not to feel a little down.

I don’t hate myself, but I certainly hate things about me, and those bad habits have all proven to be hard to rid myself of. I have tried dozens of tactics to get rid of them and I’ve shed a few, but the rest hold strong. I haven’t been able to get through to myself on all fronts, but lately I’ve been doing better by simply by telling myself to do something daily that makes me hate myself less. It feels like a childish tactic, but it’s working. Perhaps because it only asks for one thing at a time, perhaps because I’m generally a happy and positive person who really does want to get rid of the ill will I have towards myself.

Regardless of why, this little moto has taken root in my mind and I am glad. Whenever I’m about to misstep it echoes in my mind. It’s also pushed me towards good habits and self-care that I would have otherwise neglected.

Maybe it can help you as well.

Go home and love your family.

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“If you want to change the world, go home and love your family.”
Mother Teresa

This quote has always been one of my favorites, because there is a deep truth to it. I’ve spoken before about how you should try to change the world on a smaller scale rather than a larger one and talked about how the small acts of kindness and selflessness are more earth shattering than people know. It’s all true and I stand behind it. Small acts of love change peoples lives. You don’t know what simply changing one life does. It starts a ripple effect that moves on through the world.

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Creating goals for 2022 and reflecting on those from 2021:

A few posts ago I talked about starting my resolutions early, which I did, I’m just posting them now. It gave me a month to get them written out and it also allowed me to keep my format the same.

But wow, can you believe its already basically 2022? It sounds like such a futuristic year, not the present!

But before I get ahead of myself lets look back at 2021 and the goals I set for myself:

  • Read more than seventy books: Done, done, done. I actually surpassed this by far and made it into the triple digits this year. I’m proud of that. Audiobooks really boost your numbers!
  • Spend more time outside: I did great… for the most part. During my third trimester I hardly went outside. It was too hot and I was far to pregnant to find it enjoyable, but other than those three months I’ve done a really good job getting my time in.
  • Eat more balanced: lol, okay, I was pregnant and I had some unaddressed disordered eating to address as I talked about in my last post. I failed at this one, but this last month I’ve been starting to turn it around and since it was a 2021 goal I guess you could say I ended on a good note.
  • Be a more consistent blogger: For the most part I’ve done a lot better with this! As a hobby blogger I’d say I’m decently consistent.
  • Spend more time writing on my novels: Started strong, ended poorly. There’s not a lot more to say about this one.
  • Be better at reaching out to friends: I’ve done good at this one, especially during my pregnancy, now to keep it up with a baby!

Now for 2022, the goals I’ve soft started this past month:

  • Fix my disordered eating habits: I’m making a whole blog post about this, but I wat to address my relationship with food.
  • Read 100 books: I kept shooting low, both for 2020 and 2021. I thought 100 wasn’t realistic, but seeing how I broke 100 two years in a row, I think I can do it a third time!
  • Take more pictures: I take a ton of pictures on my cell phone, but I want to break out my big camera more and play with my photography, especially now that I have a little one capture!
  • Finish writing my current novel: Pretty self explanatory. It’s about one third done and I’d love to finish it!
  • Move more: I’m not going to sign up for a gym. I am going to try to be more active though! Rock climbing, skiing, horseback, bouncing the baby, walking the dogs. I just want to move more.

I’m going to try to keep it pretty simple this year because I know a lot of my focus will be on Oliver and my family!

On disordered eating:

I don’t have an eating disorder, my bad eating habits haven’t ever reached that level, but I have balanced dangerously on that line.

In our current culture it’s almost normal to have disordered eating habits. Our diet culture and super processed food has made it a hard thing to avoid, especially as a young woman. Hell, when I was on Tumblr in high school there were thousand of thinspo accounts, now they just mask themselves on instagram as health accounts that focus far to much on the goal body shape than the health.

Our dieting world has shifted so much that we coined a new eating disorder based on super restrictive diets that are in the fad now. If I hear one more world about keto or the whole 30 I might scream.

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Start your resolutions now:

Hello December, its nice to see you again!

In the middle of all the holiday cheer you might find the idea of starting your resolutions now unsavory. Cutting down sweets during Christmas? Well why not, you don’t have to get rid of them, just practice a little more self control than you would if you were starting next month.

We like to hang on the idea of starting tomorrow or starting Monday. We misbehave more with bad habits when we know we want to start a good one “soon”. We also are more likely to push them off another day or another week, so starting now can really cut these factors off at the knee.

Also starting now means you’ll be a month ahead of were you would be if you started next month. You can have already started that new hobby or cleaning out that house or being kinder to yourself. Put yourself ahead of the curve, beat the rush at the gym, find a therapist before everyone else starts looking.

Another thing about starting early is you can give yourself permission to start slower. You can do a trial run, start slow, give yourself permission to make more mistakes, than really buckle down with the new year. It’ll go better than starting cold!

So make that resolution list and start early!

Announcing Oliver Scott:

He’s about two months old now, so it seems fitting to finally announce him here. If you noticed that my posts seemed to disappear for a while this little guy is the reason! I’m still going to be hanging around, though I can’t promise that I’ll be posting every week. Things are different with a baby.

Oliver Scott was born on September 30th at 12:19 via scheduled c-section. He was a c-section baby because he was happily breech with no interest in spinning around. We had a brief scare where he inhaled amniotic fluid, but after top notch care both him and I were healthy and doing well!

These first few months have been beautiful. I honestly love motherhood and am so happy with everything. I was at a much higher risk of post-partum depression because of my bipolar disorder, but luckily I got to skip that, most likely because I was allowed to stay on my medications during pregnancy and continue them as normal after. I’m so glad I was sent to specialized doctors who weighed the risk and benefits and helped me come up with a plan that was safe for both me and Oliver.

Oliver is perfect. He looks like both me and his father and we are so over the moon in love with him. As we get closer to two months he has started smiling at us and he is constantly reaching and grabbing at things though he hasn’t mastered it just yet.

He makes everyday brighter and has made my entire outlook on life shift a little.

Everything from here on out is for him and our family, and that, is wonderful.

The single bad habit slippery slope:

We all have a list of bad habits that is longer than we would like, and honestly, if you say you don’t I not only don’t believe you but I think you might need to check your pride.

I currently have a daily check list on my phone of habits- it has good daily habits that I’d like to pick up and a series of bad habits to cross off when I don’t do them. It’s been the only system I’ve found that helps, though of course it isn’t a magic solution and I still fall short of checking all my boxes a lot of time.

There are arguments about how many habits you should try to pick up and drop at the same time, and this post isn’t really about that. I don’t have an answer to how much you can personally take on at a time, I think a lot of it has to do with how linked your habits are. What this post is about is doing one bad habit can lead to a day of all your bad habits coming out.

I think a lot of us have an all or nothing mindset, in some ways that might be a good thing, if you’re checking off good habits to do today it certainly is! But it also applies to your bad habits, and once we’ve fallen short we tend to think the day is lost and spiral.

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