The decade of change and what’s still the same:

 

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Photo by Sarah Warden Photography

I’ve written and rewritten this blog post a few times. How do you summarize a decade? Especially one that started when you were fifteen and ended when you were twenty five. Those years are massively transformative. It seems like everything possible has been fit into the last ten years, from learning to drive to buying a house and getting married. The past decade has taken me from a child to a woman. It’s seen hard times and joyous times. It’s been remarkable in every sense of the word.

Maybe it’s strange for us as humans to take time and break it down into chunks like we do. It seems so logical to celebrate the new year, to be able to hit refresh, and to re-calibrate. But too look back over longer periods of time and try to make them a season of our lives just doesn’t work as well. So much happens in ten years time. So much changes. We are in every sense of the word, different.

So I’m going to do something a little different. I’m gong to focus on the parts of me that have stayed the same, because I feel like that says more about me than anything else. The people around me have changed. My place in the world has changed. My daily activites have changed. But there are also quite a few things that have stayed the same.

  • I still want to have a family. When I was 15 I wanted to grow up and get married and have kids, now that I’m older and married I still want to have kids and I was right when I thought that marriage would be one of the most influential things in my life. To marry is to gain a life partner and I’ve managed to find that in the last ten years, and though it didn’t happen at all like I planned, I started down the road that I only dreamed of at 15.
  • I still have a lot of the same morals, though God and society has slowly been fine tuning them. I’ve grown a lot and I’ve become better in a lot of ways, but my want to be better has not ceased. I have not drifted from my moral compass even as it has matured and changed. This is actually something I’m pretty proud of, because though I’ve made mistakes like every other person I’ve stayed true to myself through most of it. I haven’t faltered in major life altering way.
  • My hobbies have endured. I have gained some new ones over the last ten years, but I have also more thoroughly explored the ones I’ve had since I was young. This is amazing because not only does it mean that I’ve been able to approve, but those hobbies I started with when I was fifteen have led me into learning programs that help me in my job. They have helped me through some hard times when I had little else to do and lean on. And, as someone who has creative hobbies, they have helped me express myself and process my emotions. And there have been a lot of emotions to work through in the last ten years.

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Goals for 2018:

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New year, same me, but I’m hopefully going to make some improvements. I had started a yearly recap post, but I decided to toss it after realizing that all I could seem to say was that this was a year of reflection and painfully slow process. It all needed to happen, though, and somehow I’ve managed to make great strides without much physical movement.

I feel more awake and aware than I have in a long time, so I figure I’ll make some goals for 2018 since I know some of these things need to start happening. I’m not going to call them resolutions, though, because those are supposed to be firm decisions, and I never seem to hold too firm to mine, so here’s to revisiting these every month and realistically trying to keep up with them.

  • More time on hobbies, less time online: Alright, I’ve only talked about this in a dozen posts (x, x, and many more) but I need to seriously cut back on social media and invest it in reading, writing, my horse, photography, friends, even this blog (just less scrolling through dozens of feeds).
  • Read the entire bible: That’s right, the entire thing- in order. The other day I picked it up for the first time in a while and I had one of my faith based questions answered right away, it made me realize how I really hadn’t covered enough of the text and always went back to my “favorite” sections.
  • Be more aware of what I’m eating: I need to be eating less sugar because I have Lyme Disease, but I’ve also recently been added snack foods that have ingredients lists I can pronounce. I realized how many chemicals I’ve been processing on a daily bases, and though I’ll never be a purest, trying to move towards more organic food would be good for me. Especially with snack brands that make it insanely easy.
  • Being a better friend: I’ve gotten so I talk to my friends less, and it wasn’t on purpose! Some of it was being sick, some of it was starting work, but none of it was okay, so I need to get better at being the friend a friend would like to have. (funny- I’ve talked about this one before too. You can tell how good my follow through is.)
  • Read more than 30 books: Last year I wrote over 400 Word pages, but I hardly read a thing. So I’m trying to find a little more of a balance. I’m starting strong, we’re on the second day of 2018 and I finished one of the books I started in December.
  • Finish writing two novels: This shouldn’t be too terrible. I finished one at the very end of November, and I have two that are 80% done, along with one that is in the beginning stages. I’d really like to finish all three of them, but I’m trying not to get too carried away.
  • Wean myself off sleeping pills: I’ve become reliant on sleeping pills to get a good night’s rest. I know what I have to do to pull back- less screen time before bed, a better diet, more exercise- but I haven’t seemed to care enough to do it. So here’s to getting my sleep on, naturally.

So here is to a new year, to a metaphorical clean slate, and here’s to you and what you’ll get done during it.