Lyme Disease: Updates and the idea of staying sick for good.

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My doctor and I had a conversation the other day about my Lyme disease, and how I need to be prepared to be on some type of treatment for the rest of my life, even if it was something small, like a pill a day. He said that he’s pretty positive that he can get me to the point that I feel healthy again, but told me that Lyme bacteria often comes back, and consistently fighting it is probably the only way I can continue without a terrible relapse that takes me back to where I started.

Hearing something like that, even when you knew it was possible, kind of makes you step back. It makes you quiver for a second and thing, “oh, I’m never getting rid of this.” It makes you realize that your life will never go back to what it was before you got sick.

It’s disheartening to say the least, and it’s really easy to focus on that rather than to focus on the other part, the part where he said that he can get me to the point I feel healthy again even if I am on a small amount of treatment. It makes you overlook the word small in front of treatment. When I took a moment I realized that and when I did I tried to readjust my attitude. I’ve talked about my current relationship with Lyme before, about how I’ve made peace now that I’m well enough to live my life, but still am desperately wishing I could finish the process.

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What my chronic illness can teach those who are healthy:

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I backslide in my treatment over the last few months.

Not a ton, mind you, but any backslide is still a regression and it wasn’t one I was happy about. But there was still a lot to be thankful for. I still feel way better than I did when I started treatment over two years ago. One more antibiotic is annoying and it makes my stomach hurt, but it’s still less than I was on. I’m still able to work and go about my daily life, and that’s a big deal, because two years ago I could hardly move from my bed to the couch. Plus, now that I’m taking it, I’m starting to steadily make back the ground that I had lost.

But there’s an important thing to point out. The antibiotics are important but, I only feel like they’re working when I’m taking care of myself. It’s a tricky thing, but finding health with Lyme is a fine balance of taking care of yourself and taking your pills. I find that the pills allowed me the ability care for myself by helping reduce my pain and my fatigue, but without the diet, the exercise, and natural treatments, I might as well still be sick.

It brings me back to all the lessons on health I had learned before Lyme Disease.

We push aside daily wellness when we’re healthy enough. When we don’t have a chronic illness, when we don’t have a disease, or a disorder. Our bodies are functioning and that’s enough for us, we don’t feel like we need to do all the extra work for them to be at their best, because good enough is good enough.

It has a lot to do with our own laziness, our own gluttony, and all the pleasure we find in things that aren’t very healthy to us. It really dawned on me after a few weeks of giving this lifestyle my all so I could get better. I thought “when will I be better enough to stop all of this?”

That’s right, I wanted to know when will I would be better enough to stop being healthy.

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