15 Lessons from Year 20

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  1. It’s amazing how one facebook message can launch you into a friendship that’s been dormant for seven years. We play the “I’m just going to stop texting people and see who reaches out to me” and pretend like it tells us who is really in our lives for good. It doesn’t. It tells you who’s busy, or it tells you who is waiting on you to text first to see if you care. Stop being a child. Reach out.
  2. If you aren’t educated in a topic it’s okay to say that. Don’t try to keep up the fight just because you have an opinion.
  3. My body shape doesn’t actually matter that much- how far I can run when the dog takes off and how I sleep at night do. Health and image aren’t the same.
  4. We’re young, things don’t work out. That doesn’t mean that we’re doing anything wrong. Sometimes you have to go on a few dates before you realize what you’re looking for. Sometimes you can just go out to dinner with a guy just to see. It’s okay, the next boy you date doesn’t have to be your future husband.
  5. Taking much needed down time and being lazy are two very different things. When you get older you start to realize you’ve been lying about your days “off”. Don’t you have something you’ve wanted to do but “hadn’t have the time to do”?
  6. Dream big, reach for the stars, but keep in mind that you should also have plans for the time in between dreams, the steps to get there. Transitions should be enjoyed also. A lot of life is spent in transition anyways. 
  7. I look fine when I smile with my teeth, no matter what I’ve spent my life telling myself. And if someone gets a bad picture of me smiling with my teeth? That’s okay too, people on facebook have seen me in person, the people on here and tumblr who haven’t? They don’t actually care if I put out one bad picture for every 20 glossy ones. It’s how I look. Not flawless like Beyonce but damn good looking anyways.
  8. Study the masters. Of anything that you want. Learn everything you can from everything. You never should aim to “finish” your studies.
  9. Buy it in Print. Cook books, magazines, novels. Drip on the cookbook pages, rip out magazine articles, write in margins of novels. You’ll retain more. You’ll love it and won’t “click away”.
  10.  Indulge. They’re only guilty pleasures if you feel bad about them- which you shouldn’t.
  11. I spent years not speaking of my accomplishments because I didn’t want to brag. I thought the line was too thin to walk, but it isn’t. Show your skills or knowledge when on the correct topic for it and only mention it a few times through out the year. People can know you’re great at something without you being annoying about it.
  12. Don’t wait- Don’t put your life on hold. Things can be moved to the back burner, but you should never just be sitting around waiting for a call from him or that call from that dream job you applied to two months ago and never heard from.
  13. Dance alone, in public. Embarrass yourself every now and then. It’s how you have fun and learn that you shouldn’t be embarrassed by that anyways.
  14. Spend time with toddlers and puppies, you’ll understand why when you want to rip you hair out, then again when you see the beauty in it all. It’s something everyone should learn.
  15. Thank them. Do it again. And again. Never forget to say I love you. Never let someone think they aren’t important to you.

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Advice to Take to Heart:

215Someone is going to ask me about my phrasing, but there is just something about being at peace and in complete bliss that makes you feel light, like your soul weighs less. The weight of the world no longer seems so crushing.

My life has been improving consistently in the past three years. You could say adulthood is treating me well, but a big part of it is I’ve learned how to treat myself well. That right there is an under appreciated art form.

Here are my top tips to do just that:

  • Clean Out: Delete friends off social media that you don’t actually enjoy seeing on your main page. Delete old text message conversations. Clean out your contacts on your phone. Go through your desk, vanity, and closet. Get rid of the stuff you haven’t even thought about using in the past few months. Get rid of the weight of the past and make room for the things you actually need.
  • Make the Effort: You know that friend that you love but never see? Those people who you’ve always wanted to get to know but never have? Make the effort for them. Don’t do any of this “they’ll text me first” nonsense. That doesn’t work anyways, if everyone waits for someone to text them first no one would ever talk again. People are busy. You are busy. Make time for one another.
  • Journal: Blog, Photo journal. Do something to release the feelings and the memories. It’s a great way to distress and an even better thing to go through later on. You’ve felt this before, next time you do you can read yourself through how you got through it.
  • Stop Feeding Your Negatives: Stop reading the sad novels every time you pick up a book. Unfollow the depressing blogs. Download happier music.
  • Believe Your Beautiful: Tell it to yourself every time you look in the mirror. Check yourself out. Wear things that look good on you. When struggling, you just have to fake it till you make it.
  • Get Lost in Nature Every Now and Then: It’s easy to forget what being still means in a city. It’s important to emerge yourself in the great outdoors. Talk about distressing and recharging.
  • Engage: If you’re going to be on Facebook, WordPress, Tumblr, Twitter, than comment, send people pm’s. There’s a study that proves that people who interact on social media are happier than those who do not.
  • Wash your Towels and Bedding More Often: This sounds a little silly, but honestly it’s such an underrated pleasure.
  • Do Something New: There is more to life than just living, right?
  • Learn to Laugh it Off: How many posts do you see about “remembering the embarrassing thing you did three years ago”? And how often does something like that ruin your day. Everyone makes mistakes. You looked stupid. It’s okay, it’s all good, and in a movie you would laugh at it. Do it now. Let it go. Force yourself to the next topic.
  • Drink More Fluids: Water is the best, but tea is almost as good. Just rinse out some of those toxins.
  • Get Inspired: Read a book on something you strive for. Read a blog. Listen to a friend of role model. Listen to a tedtalk.
  • Set Realistic Goals: It’s nice to dream big. Hell, you should dream big. But make your goals possible. Nothing is more discouraging than planning for a one in a million chance and not getting it. High hopes, realistic expectations.
  • Let God into your Life: This can mean different things to different people. Figure out what it means for you.
  • Never Stop Creating: It doesn’t matter how good the end result is. It’s good for the soul, and it’s good for the mind.

Life Tips (series 1 out of ∞)

-Compliment people, always.
Seriously, it takes nothing away from you and it adds so much to someone else’s day. I was having a conversation with my roommate about this. We think all these little things that we choose not to say because we don’t know a person, or because they are walking fast. Take the time, say it anyways. It always brightens peoples day and even more so, it has saved lives before.
And note that compliments are different from cat calls, please and thank you, no one needs any of that.
Walk like you have your dream man behind you
Good posture, long neck, good swish.
Confidence shines in more way than in which you talk.
-Never lie about of hide your emotions
One of the best things that I have done is tell people how I feel when I feel it. I’m in a time right now where I don’t feel like I have the biggest social life. I recently told someone how lonely I was, guess what, they stepped up. This isn’t the first time something like this has happened. Telling my parents I was depressed, well, it saved my life, and it gave me the chance to be happy again. So here I am.
-Man up, text them first
Okay, face it, if everyone on earth decided to play the popular game of “if they want me in their life they’ll contact me first” than no one would have anyone in their life and we’d all be on the curb over what? Not a damn thing. Just remember that if you reach out and they make an effort to talk back, they want you in their life, if they don’t make an effort and shut you down every time, then you can re-look at the relationship. Just remember, everyone is busy, and you’ve been at points in your life before, that you needed someone to text you first. So just man up and do it.
-Spend more time outside in the sun
Fresh air is good for you.
Sun has been proven to help cure depression.
Adventures happen outside, you should look into them.
-Never expect people to change.
Do people change? I want to say no, but there have been cases were that would be very wrong to say. You know, people can change, but you shouldn’t count on it. Put expectations on yourself and the person you can be. Not other people and the person they might could be if they only decided to do this, this, this, and oh, those other five things.
-Never get obsessed
Love is much healthier.
If you don’t know the difference if, you should figure that out.